"Parasol"

When I come to terms to terms with this
When I come to terms with this
When I come to terms to terms with this
My world will change for me
I haven't moved since the call came
Since the call came I haven't moved
I stare at the wall knowing on the other side
The storm that waits for me

Then the Seated Woman with a Parasol
May be the only one you can't betray
If I'm the Seated Woman with a Parasol
I will be safe in my frame

I have no need for a sea view
For a sea view I have no need
I have my little pleasures
This wall being one of these

When I come to terms to terms with this
When I come to terms with this
When I come to terms with this whip lash
of silk on wool embroidery

Then the Seated Woman with a Parasol
May be the only one you can't betray
If I'm the Seated Woman with a Parasol
I will be safe in my frame
I will be safe
In my frame
In your house
In your frame

Tori is my inspiration, by far my favorite artist and musician. Why do I love her so much? Because she puts the depths of her emotion and experience into her music and lyrics. It takes a lot of courage to put oneself out there that way. Every song has a deep meaning, portrayed through poetry, metaphor...The beauty in it lies in the fact that we are all sharing a human experience here on this planet together, and we all have a shared humanity of emotion, of feelings, of setbacks, of challenges, of joy, mistakes, sadness. She articulates so much of that in such a profound way.

I am touched and inspired by her songs more than by any other artist. Her song "Parasol" is one that I have been particularly connected to recently. For me personally, it speaks to the way we often get stuck. We get stuck and no longer grow because we have fears. We like to feel safe. Growth takes change and often pain. It seems best sometimes to play it safe, to protect oneself, one's ego. But I only see this as limiting, even though I'm very guilty of it myself. We have one opportunity/chance at this lifetime. It doesn't seem to make sense to stay all safe and secure and miss out on all that life has to offer because of simple fears, that are mostly unjustified and based on our own insecurities. Sometimes, we don't deal with things, because it may just be easier to ignore. Yet I believe such actions rob us from ourselves and from living to our greatest potential. Obviously, it is so much easier said than done, to face our fears, challenge ourselves and accept when certain things need to be let go of so that new ideas and experiences can blossom. I try to convince myself that the storm will only result in a beautiful rainbow, a cleansing, but getting through that darkness is difficult. Sometimes I just need someone to push me over the edge, to hold my hand through the darkness so that it is not so scary. I need that little nudge, to get me out of my comfort zone. Quite frankly, being comfortable is quite boring to me, but I sometimes resist the storm...

Life

Nature is my inspiration, it is what keeps me going

at times she can be unforgiving, destructive and one of the most powerful forces in existence

at other times cradling and giver of life

always amazing

always a teacher 

mirroring the importance of balance

of darkness and light

of struggle and achievement

of life and death

I stumbled upon this beautiful bird and aspen grove today on a three-hour hike at Golden Gate State Park, not far from where I live. I've been in awe of the birds I've been seeing lately. My great grandmother, my grandmother and my mother all have a passion and connection to birds. I guess it only comes naturally that I would have a fascination with them as well. I remember watching the beautiful birds in Iowa and in Minnesota as a child. So colorful. There aren't many birds here in Colorado in comparison and I miss them. There are hummers, which will be here any day now. I'm excited for their arrival. There are also magnificent birds of prey. I see eagles almost everyday on my way to work. Not sure if this one pictured above is an eagle or a hawk. Looks like a young bird, so it's hard to tell. Either way, he/she made me happy today and I'm glad it let me snap the photo before flying away...

Balance - words by Pema Chodron

 

 “To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest…

Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness–life’s painful aspect–softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody’s eyes because you feel you haven’t got anything to lose–you’re just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We’d be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn’t have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.” ~Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chödrön

Pema is so inspiring. Her books are amazing and she has such a powerful gift of bringing the concepts of Buddhism to the Western world in such a way that is so very meaningful within our present society.

This made me laugh. Actually kind of sad really...

Return to Serenity

Restlessness

I need to lose myself again

so I can clearly see

Restlessness invades my soul

desires to be free

Endless flowing circle

I no longer want to walk

Transform into a spiral 

as the mysteries unlock...

Unfuck it up

I LOVE this, she is great! I'm going to go unfuck things up now...

How to choose the right sweetener (environmental/humor)

I found this on GRIST, which is a fabulous non-profit organization dedicated to educating about the environment, supporting the "green" movement, and at the same time keeping a sense of humor about it. If you care about the Earth and haven't checked out GRIST, I highly recommend you do so. Click on the image to see a larger version.

Post-modern Contemplation (poetry)

Looking back
at what's left behind
Piecing together the grand demise
Hidden deep beneath the sand
A technological wasteland
Illustrating a time line
of the human mind

Mechanical debris
litters the desolate landscape
Remnants of what once was
Trying to understand
what destroyed this land
this technological civilization

Observing a place
once full of life
now empty and uninhabited
A postmodern tribe
studies the plight
as they seek to understand
what happened
(to bring down such a wealthy temple)

No need to make a distinction
This mass extinction
Was it the inventions
meant to enhance our lives?
Self-destruction through anthropocentric creation
that caused the desecration?

So few survived this grand demise
Cities now lie in ruin
Those who lived lives of ancient ways
now digging through the remains
Learning from the mistakes that were made
The dawn of a new consciousness

Melancholy (poetry)

And all I have left

is the residual effect

of the spark that once

held my heart

Forever lost

in a sea of confusion

Never to see you again

only in a land of black and white

although our spirits transcend