The American Dream

Shonna's rant on the idea of the "American Dream."

Today I began thinking about where I'm going to go when my house sells. Part of me wants to stay where I am. I'm happy in the mountains, in my neighborhood, close to nature. Another part of me is sick everyday with the amount of money I'm throwing away. My mortgage is $1500/month. How much of that goes to pay off the loan? $300/month. How much goes to the bank for interest? $1200. $1200 a month! And I've been in my house for more than five years. This is the shit they don't tell you when we as US citizens are urged to buy a home. Why the fuck would I want to work my ass off for the next 30 years to give over $100,000 of my hard earned money to the bank? End up paying nearly $400,000 for a house that cost just over $200,000? It's absurd and I even have a low, fixed interest rate. I will NEVER do it again.

Then I got to thinking about how much I hate "the system." "Society" tends to brainwash us all, making us believe we need to buy a house, get married, have kids, buy all of these expensive things, have one job forever, have a full-time job so we can have health insurance, blah bla blah bla blah. It's frustrating for those of us who don't want to fit into that mold. And then people start to question you. Are you going to have kids? Are you ever going to get married? Are you ever going to "settle down."  I live one life. One! I want to live it the way I want to live it. I don't want to work my ass off to give most of my money to a bank who in turn has to borrow bailout tax dollars from the government and taxpayers just to keep from going under. How is that even possible? How did all of these banks go "bankrupt" when they rob us everyday of our hard-earned cash? Hmm, probably because their CEO's make millions. I guess I should back up and realize those who took a mortgage loan that ends up being around 50% interest was a personal decision. That little 5 or 6 percent interest turns into nearly the entire cost of what you bought your house for over the course of the entire loan, oftentimes doubling what you paid for it. But, no one bothers to inform or protect us "consumers." After all, doing so would ruin the system that is dependent on consumption and spending money.  It's just frustrating that my house is now worth less and less due to foreclosures, because others couldn't pay their loans, because banks gave awful loans that should have never been given. It's all absurd and I really don't want anything to do with the absurdity anymore. In a sense, I only have myself to blame, which is why I'm trying to make a change, a big change.

I've learned not to buy anything unless I can pay it off or put a large payment down. Yes, I paid for my car outright. I lived in a house with five adult roommates for several years so I could save money. And as a little side note, I find it funny that our neighbors threatened to turn us in to the authorities for having too many people living in our house. I can't believe there are rules about how many people can live in a home. I suppose at some point it is a safety issue, but isn't that our own business and responsibility? We were trying to be smart, save money and it's against someone's "rules." Yes, there were five of us grown adults living in one house. What a crime! I'm sure if I had lived with a husband and had three little kiddos it would have been absolutely fine and acceptable. Still five human beings, but that's okay. It had it's drawbacks, but we each paid $200/month for everything. I still worked, saved and bought my car outright, saving thousands of dollars that would have went to the bank had I taken a loan on it. I try my best to really think about every purchase I make. I try not to pay for anything that I don't really need. I don't have cable, I don't have an mp3 player, a book reader and  my cell phone is ancient. I never purchased a stereo, a tv or a dvd player. I ended up getting these things as gifts. I wish I had nicer guitars and better gear, but it is so expensive, I get what I need to get by. For me, I would rather have my freedom to work when I want and be able to do what I want without being dependent upon an income, a job. My freedom to do what I want is way more important to me than getting myself in debt by buying expensive things I don't really need. Money and material items do not equal happiness. Some things do make life easier and more enjoyable. There's nothing wrong with buying things, but there is something wrong with getting in so much debt that one's life is completely dependent upon a job and living pay check to pay check or depending on the government because we never learned to manage our money or curb our spending. Of course, our society runs on consumerism, so we are often pushed to buy, buy, buy, to where we don't even really question what we're really spending and how it will impact us.

Which brings me to a story I read about this awesome woman who lives in an 84-sq foot house:
http://www.katu.com/news/local/8499817.html 

I'm so inspired by her and her simple way of living. A $6 utility bill and no mortgage. A part-time job, the freedom to go where you want, when you want, not tied down to anything. Sounds awesome to me. I don't know if I could live in an 84sq foot house, but I could definitely do a couple hundred square feet I think. I'm seriously contemplating the idea of a nice tiny little pre-fab home, preferably something completely sustainable with solar power and a green house to grow food. I think I could save money for something like that and nearly pay for it outright. My freedom is very important, and in my opinion, our government has a way of molding everyone into one ideal image of what a good American is supposed to be. Not for me. If I want to leave and tour with a band, I want to be able to do so without being tied down. If I want to write books and take my time and not depend on an advance or deal with deadlines, I want to do that. If I want to up and leave and go live somewhere else, I want to be able to do that. Maybe even go back to school or volunteer my time to help those in need. While I'm sure the American Dream works for a lot of people, I am not one of them. I don't want to work day in and day out to pay $1500/month just for a roof over my head. Ridiculous. Even though I didn't start out that way, I ended up the only one left with the house and here I am. I don't want to pay hundreds of dollars for cable and other forms of entertainment. I have plenty of things to entertain myself with that cost little to nothing. In fact, I can't even find the time for all of it. Hanging with friends, writing, making music, hiking, enjoying nature. I'm not trying to knock down anyone's lifestyle or way of living. I just think it is important to education oneself, question things now and then and to live your life the way you want (you only get one) and most importantly do what makes you happy! And I mean truly happy, not the happiness that the media tries to sell us. Not happiness that someone else imposes, or is based on some belief of what we are supposed to be or how we are supposed to live our lives, but authentic to the self happiness.