Attrition

Chief and I went for a walk yesterday in the mountains. On our way back, a train passed by that was carrying an impressive number of military tanks. I couldn't help but wonder where they were going, what they would be used for. I couldn't help but ask myself why we live in a way that requires this type of destructive machinery. How did we get to a place of such global unrest, hatred and mistrust in our fellow humans? I just don't understand why our world can't be more of a peaceful place. Are humans destined to always strive for power, control and domination (of each other, the Earth, etc)? It seems by now we would have evolved enough to live in a more intelligent, civil and peaceful way. But we have not. Living in our society brings a lot of unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Those with all the money they could ever need are not the happiest people on the planet, we are missing so much more to life. I long for a day when the way we live at the present is completely altered forever, even if that means great suffering and death to precede. We have a lot of things all wrong, and the more time goes by, the more I lose hope that we can dig our way out and begin living life in a way that is in harmony with each other and our planet.

It is very easy for me to become hopeless, to hate other humans and to give up the idea that things can ever be better and that I can live more in harmony with others and with the Earth. It is very hard to let go of my negative attitude. However, negativity only breeds into more and more negativity and the energy and strength to make a change begins to diminish. If people, each one of us, don't begin to realize what an absurd world we live in and do something to make a difference and foster change, nothing will ever change for the better. We can't give up.

I have to go back through the memories of my mind and remember the awesome people I have met and worked with who see through the absurdity and are doing things to make a difference. We can't give up hope and become complacent. Then the "broken system" wins. I have to inspire myself with those people, organizations and countries who have done things to make a difference and live differently. While I understand that our technological advances were meant to make life easier for us, it seems to me that we have gotten to a point way beyond that to where our technology and materialism is now controlling us. Regardless of the reasons, our culture is sick, unbalanced and has its priorities confused. Life begins to feel like a battle, more than it should be. Sure, life is difficult, no matter what. Things happen in life that are painful, that are challenging. But why make the suffering and challenges more numerous than they need to be? I got sucked in to the endless hours of working simply to pay for a roof over my head and I'm so done. There is no reason any human should have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for a roof over their head. Home ownership and mortgages are a joke. It is more than a challenge to get out, but I will and I will live differently. I will get out of the system as much as possible and I will not give up, even though at times I feel there is no other choice. I live this life once and I refuse to be a slave to a sick and unhealthy system.

All of my beliefs surrounding this brought rise to "Attrition System," which later became lyrics for my band's song. I have to constantly remind myself of the good in this world, the beauty, and the miracles that surround us everyday and in the process of life itself. Without it, I simply would have no hope. I have to take time to understand and admire a raindrop, a rainbow, a galaxy, a flower, the whole miracle of nature and the universe. Otherwise, I would be completely caught up in man-made reality, with no regard for the amazing things that take place around us and within us in every moment. I would be clueless and no longer care; a victim of the system.

Attrition System

A gradual diminution in number or strength because of constant stress (www.thefreedictionary.com)

The act of weakening or exhausting by constant harassment, abuse, or attack <a war of attrition> (Merriam-Webster)

Amazing how we've come to this
All the perfect conditions
All the pieces fit
And yet we take for granted
what a miracle it is

Beyond the self
Our world slowly fading
Beyond our world
Evolution lost its way

How could it be, this Ontology
Superficial reality?
Based on power and greed

Complicating what is simple
Ignoring the larger picture
It leads
To disruption, conflict, dysfunction
On our way to
Destruction

Beyond all time
Existence brought
Beyond all thought
A part we forgot

How could it be, this Ontology
Superficial reality?
Based on power and greed

With this loss of sanity
Wake up
Ask yourself what really matters

Survival of the system
based on attrition
Detachment pervades
Self-obsession invades
Ask yourself what really matters

Beyond the self
Seem to waste it all away
Beyond our thought
Lost before consciousness

How could it be, this Ontology
Superficial reality?
Based on power and greed

Survival of the system
based on attrition
Gains from our loses
Detachment pervades
Self-obsession invades
We forgot we are part
of a larger whole

Diminished morality
loss of sanity
wake up
ask yourself what really matters

A larger design slowly fades
In our own evolution
we lost the way
a grand disruption invades


to the miracle this existence brought
We seem to waste it all away
What a shame
Is there still time to make a change?