Fuck that shit :)

In my own way

The only thing stopping me is myself

Moonlit Reflections

She sits in a darkened room, in the moonlight, trying to unlock the mysterious energies 

surrounding her, felt but unseen

in her own time, she sinks into a simple but comfortable bed to slumber in endless bliss

awakened by the sunbeams of dawn dancing in the atmosphere

through the window

warming the room once filled with the cool chill of night

specks of dust sparkle

some as old as the stars

others as new as the morning dew

the wonder of the outside world awaits 

with all of her life and creatures

created by the powerful Mystery

she works her own magic by assisting nature in nourishing her

there is no time for walls 

or constructs devoid of life and joy

the time in this physical dimension is but a brief flash in time

a time so vast and wise 

a tiny mind cannot comprehend

the days and nights pass

the seasons ever change

persistent and predictable cycles 

swim in the chaos that surrounds them 

everything is constantly changing

some things quicker than others

but everything ceases to be what it once was

in the confusion my small mind weeps

only because it cannot see the larger picture

or understand the greater significance

fabricated distractions

provide endless challenge

turning a world once beautiful 

to a lesser version of itself

most storms bring nourishment 

the shining sun more brilliant afterwards 

against the backdrop of the swirling darkness

colorful prisms of light

illuminate the colorless expanse

blessings in the darkest places

unseen by our eyes, unfelt by our hearts

will the darkness overcome?

joy, sorrow, happiness, suffering, death and birth

so powerful, and yet seemingly insignificant

in the unfolding of the unexplainable

where do I go from here?

Zen dog ;)

Lessons my adopted shelter dog (Midnight) has taught me that are also great lessons in life:

 If we don't express what we need, we can't assume others to know

 Patience and understanding are necessary

 Kindness is the best way to earn trust

 Trust must be earned

 Unconditional love is the best kind of love

 Running in the morning is a good thing

 Our bodies are full of endless energy

 We all experience pain, suffering and abuse

 We have an amazing ability to heal

 We have an amazing ability to adapt

Sometimes it is in our best interest to let go of the past

 It is important to have a job to do, especially one we enjoy

 Being bored can cause one to get into trouble

 It is important to keep the mind and body active

 Fears can be overcome

 Old habits can be broken
Mistakes help us learn

 We all need a little guidance in order to do our best

 Live in the moment

Life is an adventure

Having fun is one of the greatest things for the body, mind and soul

Words have limitations

“You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.” 

~C.G. Jung

An opportunity lost

Last night, on the eve of Valentine's Day, I had a dream about my dad. In most of my dreams of him, he does not speak, which is both eerie and confusing. Some of the dreams are good, some of them are bad. I acknowledge that the dreams may be my own psyche dealing with the loss. Yet, a part of me wonders if they could be more. I have no idea. I don't know if there is life after death; I'm not a believer, I'm not a non-believer. Though I do believe that anything is possible.

My dream was so vivid and clear. I was in my old childhood home. My dad walked into the room. It was apparent he was going somewhere. He was all dressed up, even wearing a top hat! He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt. He looked so young and vibrant, healthy and beaming with light, love and kindness. He called me over to say goodbye, gave me a hug and told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say or do. Unfortunately, our relationship was broken when he left this Earth. In that moment, I knew that. I wasn't simply in a dream state, I was aware of the reality of our struggles. I didn't know how to react or what to say. We never had a moment like that in real life. We both had so much to work through and deal with. I didn't answer him and within seconds we slowly disappeared.

I woke up recalling how young and happy he looked. Knowing him, he was on his way to meet someone for a nice Valentine's date in the afterlife! I also recall feeling sadness in not responding to him. I'm not sure I can recall ever telling my dad that I loved him. That is not easy to sit with. And now I can never tell him, at least not with the two of us together in this lifetime. It's hard, but it's reality. I wish both us would have been brave enough to mend our relationship, but we were not. All I can hope is that he can still hear me and that the dreams like the one I had last night, are a little more than the firing of neurons in my brain. I like to entertain the idea that he came to me with that message for Valentine's Day. That is something he would do. His heart was full of love and kindness...but it was also broken. I hope that next time I can find the courage to speak to him...even in a dream...

Valentine's Day

What is something beautiful about you?
What is something unique about you?
What is something wonderful or amazing about you?

It can sometimes be hard to find these things in ourselves and to honor them. Sometimes, we can get so caught up in our day-to-day lives that we forget to acknowledge and honor these aspects of ourselves, yet it is so important to do so. I am a firm believer that we must love ourselves in order to love others. The more we show ourselves love and honor, the more we can love and honor others. What kinds of practices or activities can we do to help remind us of the unique and wonderful things that make us who we are?

Inspired by a 10-year old

On one of those days where I sit and think about how irresponsible we as a species are, destroying one of the most remarkable places in the Universe, I can watch this and have a glimmer of hope again. Kudos to the parents of this kiddo: http://grist.org/list/adorable-10-year-old-entrepreneur-runs-a-business-collecting-recyclables-on-his-bike/?utm_campaign=living&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter

Faith

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.” 

Martin Luther King Jr.

Reflective questions for 2013

The tradition of setting New Year's resolutions has always been entertaining to me. We decide to examine things and resolve to make changes once a year and then often forget about them or lose our determination just several months in. And it makes sense that we often fail. When examining an entire year, it can be easy to set too many goals or set goals for the year that really need to be broken down into smaller sections of time or into smaller steps. We often set lofty goals, but don't really sit down and work out the details that are necessary for accomplishing them.

While the New Year's resolution tradition seems a bit cliche in some ways, I still think it's a great and valuable practice. I think it is much more helpful to make it a practice for the entire year. Whether we check in with ourselves once a day or once every few months, it takes work and attention to be successful. I also feel that taking the practice a little deeper is very helpful. Instead of simply compiling a list of goals, we can go further by asking ourselves reflective questions to help us look more in-depth at what we really want, why we want it and what is going on inside of us. We often don't take much time in our busy lives to just reflect on and check in with our internal landscape, and yet that is the environment that gives way to our dreams, goals and happiness.

Here is a list of what I believe to be good reflective questions for the New Year (compiled from several sources on the web):

-Pick three words to describe 2012
-What are my goals for the coming year?
-What are my dreams for the coming year?
-How do you want to feel in 2013? List three emotions that you want to feel on a regular basis.
-What would need to shift for you to feel this way? What habits or activities would support these feelings?
-What do you want to do in 2013?
-What impact do you want to have on the world?
-What are you curious to learn about in 2013?
-What did you learn in 2012 that you have not yet embedded into your way of working or being?
-What do you feel inspired to get involved with?
-What do you need to stop doing?
-What is your inner voice saying?
-What is your inner Risk Manager (the part that wants to keep you safe) saying? What evidence is there that
supports or does not support your Risk Manager’s view?
-What are your top, non negotiable priorities?
-What is one thing that would bring joy into your life?
-What do you need to commit to in order to be who you want to be in 2013?